With Memories and Sorrow (Words from a soul weary father)

For nine months, I wondered,
If when you came, I'd cry.
As I held you in my hands that day,
No tears bedewed my eye.
I searched my heart with fear,
To see if therein remained,
A single shred of humanity,
From years of my soul enchained.
With relief I found this feeling,
How words cannot define,
My daughter, my goddess, my darling,
This wondrous child of mine...
Yet the bitter winds of misfortune,
My world it did ensnare...
And heavy beats this aching heart,
Each moment that I'm not there.
This mockery of justice,
This sickening twist of fate,
Of mistakes I made and can't undo,
That us does seperate.
Here I stand near broken,
With memories and sorrow...
If I could change those yesterdays,
So that we could have tomorrow...

For those who don't know, my ex wife got complete custody of my daughter. Default judgment, I have no rights and no contact. If you are a parent, I wish that you never know what this feels like... I haven't seen or held my daughter since the court gave her back to her mother (I had possession), due to my attorney's incompetence. My ex got a default judgment by getting our case heard on a day we were NOT scheduled to be in court... Her attorney was able to pull some strings and have it heard... and I was not there. Every time I look at a little girl with her family, my heart bleeds and I have to walk away. Take nothing for granted. None of it is trivial...

Eru, my heart bleeds with yours, but in a different way... I am afraid I'll never have children, and I always wanted to be a wife and a mother.  And we (as humans) do tend to take life a little too lightly, until it's too late.  I love you and I'm always here for you my man.