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 Breaking points (work in progress. critique is welcome, praise even more so.)

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Daemonlike

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Posts : 1
Join date : 2013-10-18
Age : 31
Location : Denmark, Copenhagen

PostSubject: Breaking points (work in progress. critique is welcome, praise even more so.)   Sat Oct 19, 2013 8:49 pm

The mind screams at the body:
"Leave me in peace! let my consciousnesses go!"
"I want freedom! Knowledge is my goal!"
"Your physical world bars my potential!"

The body screams at the mind:
"Then go already! You obscure my lust!"
"I do not need you! only pleasure I trust!"
"food, drink, sex! all else is nonessential!"

The soul is barely heard in the distance:
"Quit your whinging! My calm is now in flux!"
"You are both conjoined and I am the crux!"
without being heard the soul muttered under its breath
"I tire of this human existential!"
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edawnd

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Posts : 18
Join date : 2013-04-25
Location : Hobbs, NM, USA

PostSubject: Re: Breaking points (work in progress. critique is welcome, praise even more so.)   Sun Oct 27, 2013 1:09 am

I like it, I shall have to think on it some to give you a useful critique, especially since I'm very sleepy.
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